If you are the typical village atheist, then this post is just for you! I’m going to give you the best tips and tricks for winning any argument with a theist!
If you find yourself cornered in a rational discussion and you have no idea how to respond, or you have no idea what you’re even talking about, then follow these tips closely (in any order).
- Refer to their God as a magical sky being or “sky daddy”. This is sure to tick them off and show them how retarded their views are. I mean, come on. How can they believe there is some dude sitting on the clouds just shooting Harry Potter spells at us?
- Accuse your opponent of endorsing a) slavery, b) child sacrifice, and/or c) genocide.
- Accuse your opponent of endorsing an old book that is filled with contradictions. God forbid they ask you to show them where the contradictions are at and to explain them. If so, refer them to infidels.org
- If asked to defend your atheism, say there is no need to. The burden of proof is on them since you only have a “lack of belief in God”.
- Throw lots and lots of red herrings at the theist. Use this in conjunction with #2 and #3 for maximum effect. They will not know how to respond and they will just give up because they cannot handle the heat.
- Don’t you feel lost, stupid, and fearful when you are accused of begging-the-question? No one likes to be accused of begging-the-question because it puts the person on the defensive and forces them to either a) cower away from their claim or b) actually give more reasons. So, when you feel bombarded with tough looking logical arguments, accuse their argument of begging-the-question. If a), you win. If b), just repeat the process of accusing them of begging-the-question, and you’ll just end up scaring them off. Using this tactic is a sure argument stopper. So save it until you actually need it. It makes you look smart too!
- If they seem to be bombarding you too hard with logical arguments, use #6 and just leave the conversation before you look like you lost. If you throw them the death card of #6 and just leave, you will look victorious.
- Try and make your opponents beliefs look as stupid, implausible, and as ridiculous as possible. #1-3 does a good job of this. But just make it a point to really nail it in. For example, tell theists, specifically Christians, that they are guilty of cannibalism since they eat Jesus’ body during the Eucharist.
- Ask the million dollar question: Who made God? No one in the history of my existence has ever given me a satisfying answer to this question. It’s because it really shows the weakness of theistic arguments and the theistic worldview. This tactic in conjunction with #6 and #7 is the ultimate tactic. The theist will definitely NOT win the argument.
- In conjunction with #9, ask the second million dollar question: Can God make a stone so heavy he cannot lift?
Note: If you come across a theist who is trained in critical thinking or philosophy, most, if not all, of these will not really work. So you’ll have to resort to these added tips
- Make sure to quote experts in the field like Richard Dawkins and John Loftus to back up your claims. It makes you look smart and well-read. Also, use the articles found at infidels.org to make your claims look academically and intellectually tenable.
- If the educated theist asks you for a source, just give them a random page number from the quoted authors’ book. Chances are they won’t waste the time to go and get the book and actually look it up.
So, any of these tips work just great to win an argument with a theist! If you have any more tips, go ahead and feel free to post them in the comments! Let’s show these theists how absurd their views really are!