Humor

The Awkwardly Long Prayer

Mar 16

Absolutely hilarious. This prayer would destroy us all with a cherry puff of divine power.

This is hilarious, LOL. If you wish to remain virtuous, you need a ring that shoots lasers. Ironic thing is, this is probably how non-believers think of christians and their commitment to abstinence until marriage. At least somewhere along these lines It’s just out of fashion to want to save your body for someone special. Hopefully the purity ring 3000 is cool enough to put it back into fashion!

Say Grace!

Oct 22

As hilarious as this is, it is also a good reminder for all of us to pray. How often you do it is not the point, nor is it about setting a specific time to pray. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, we are called to “constantly pray”. How do we do that if it’s just about putting God in your schedule? He’s not waiting for you to make an appointment for Him, you should pray throughout the day regardless of what you are doing. There are no excuses and the importance of this cannot be overstated. As John Bunyan said, “Prayer will make a man cease from sin, or sin will entice a man to cease from prayer”. Are you living in sin? Pray more.

The Despair of Scientism

Oct 16

It’s all meaningless, MEANINGLESS! The self-refuting consequences of logical positivism, empiricism, and scientism.

Romney’s Secret Victory Dance

Oct 08

After Romney’s victorious triumph in his debate against Obama, he got a little too excited. Some are already using this leaked photo as proof that Romney is not fit to be a president with childish behavior like this. I’m inclined to agree, it’s not something a mature person should be doing. But I don’t think it’s all bad for Romney, this could give his campaign some much needed energy from the drone-like response that he receives from republicans. Obama, on the other hand, is not amused at all. He recently spoke to Fox News saying, “Let me be perfectly clear. I do not tolerate this behavior, it is not respectful and it is not presidential. If Romney wins this election, I will sue him for every last penny that he owns. This is a personal offense to me and to America. I stand here today letting America know that I will change his sorry life forever”.

Mr President, you need to chill. Don’t be jelly if Romney has more swag than you.

Pre-Blessed Food!

Sep 28

Coming soon to a market near you. Absolutely hilarious, but unfortunately true of a good amount of 21st century Christians. Not that we aren’t a part of that, however. I think even I can get distracted by the world we live in, but don’t think that “I didn’t have enough time” is a good excuse. How many times do you talk to yourself throughout the day? Replace yourself and start talking to God instead. No excuses.

Moses Has A Headache

Sep 18

LOL. I’d like some of these for my monthly migraines! New WC motto: Got a headache? Take the Ten Commandments. Sin is no joke though, and I think a lot of headaches could be solved in the world if people just followed them. Either you’ll swallow God’s truth or you’ll swallow the ashes of your god. The Israelites learned this the hard way. And believe me, ashes won’t help your headache. Whenever I go through my own migraines, I normally don’t take any pills because I hate swallowing them. I used to just endure through intense pain for a while, but after some hard prayer, God has miraculously relieved my pain. I’ll receive the optical part of the migraine where my vision is shot but the pain does not follow like it did before. Though if I am spiritually weak, I do notice a greater tendency for pain. Prayer is powerful my friends, do not underestimate it. We tend to rely so heavily on pills that we forget that God is our true pain killer.

The ObamaCare Massacre

Jul 03

The recent ruling on ObamaCare has been nothing short of ridiculous. Before I dwell on the bad, however, it should be emphasized that not all of it is bad. After some research, it does appear that this can be used to our advantage. For example, Obama claims to have kept his promise to not raise taxes (except on the rich), but the court readily rules that this is a tax for the general populace. Nonetheless, I seriously doubt this will stop a politician that is incredibly devious and deceptive with words. The public will readily eat into his lies as the holy grail of truth. As such, I consider it hopeless to think this will produce any significant benefit to the conservative agenda because it shapes people into the slavery known as “entitlement”. Everyone likes free stuff, but this just takes the cake with a stupid consumeristic society, and liberals are clever enough to prey on this individualism.

This is all done in the name of the poor. According to them, we have a moral obligation to help the poor but wait, here’s the catch, we need to let the government do it. Why of course! Let’s raise our debt by $1.7 trillion in the next decade, force every citizen to adopt and pay for it, cheapen healthcare quality for affordability, crush small businesses, restrict religious liberty, demoralize our personal obligation to help others, and increase the power of the government in one full swoop! Do you realize how insanely self-destructive this is? Good intentions pave the way to hell, and this is no exception. Instead of helping others, we’re causing more poverty at a national scale and producing more deaths due to longer waits, lower quality doctors, and lower care. Worse, if you don’t agree with this sentimental charade, you will be hunted down and taxed by the IRS anyway. Look, if you really care about others, do us a favor and get your slimy hands out of our wallets and help them yourself.